Surf Ego

Hola!

Como estas?? 

As you all know, surfing has become a huge focus of this trip. It's the reason why I decided against going down into South America, in favor of sticking it out in Central. Similar to what I just talked about above in regard to writing, I just really really want to solidify this skill set, and although I've become pretty proficient, theres just that last challenge I felt like I needed to face - the short board. Up until this point I've been riding nothing but longboards ranging from 6'8 - 7'6 which has been really fun don't get me wrong, but theres gotta be another level to this. Theres gotta be a reason why all the cool kids are shredding short boards and dammit I am going to find out. 

So since I am starting over in a sense, I wanted to come back to the place where I earned my stripes in  the first place - surfing every day, oftentimes morning and night. Santa Teresa. I arrived back a few days ago and decided that instead of renting I was going to buy a board. A board I could call my very own. Full-on commitment. So after browsing through dozens of boards at all the different surf shops in town, I found it. I found my board and it was perfect - 5'11 x 20.5 x 2.5. A Carton, hand-made right here in Costa Rica. The moment I slid it out of the rack I knew it was the one. 

Cool, so I've got my board now. But over the last couple days a funny thing happened - I found myself making all kinds of excuses for not getting out there. Oh the waves are shitty, or oh I'm just gonna do this yoga class instead, or oh it looks like its gonna rain. All excuses. Somewhere subconsciously I was resisting  it, and it was putting me into a bit of a funk. All the while this brand new perfect board was sitting propped up in my room, unused. Wtf??

As I was lying on my back in yoga class, fully relaxed in the midst of a 10 minute shavasana, I realized why. I had built up somewhat of an ego about surfing over the last several weeks. Walking and talking like a surfer, posting pictures online, fully in control and fully embracing this new aspect of my identity. I was the guy who busted his ass and learned how to surf in three months. I belonged out there. So when it came time to start all over, this little ego of mine was like heeeeeellz no! You are NOT going to embarrass yourself like that! No way Jose, thats not you. Because of this, I was putting a ton of pressure on myself to go out there and shred from day one, something that I knew was not realistic.  So I resisted it. 

After coming to this realization it all seemed so silly. Especially considering my ultimate purpose in all of this was simply to let go and have fun. I thought back to the days when I was initially learning how to surf and how I fully embraced the process at each step of the way. I was unattached to any sort of outcome such as catching waves or looking cool, because I was simply having a ton of fun where I was at. Obviously I was pushing myself to get better and better, but regardless of what happened I was stoked just to be out there, a part of it all. As I sat there reminiscing I started to get excited again. Excited just to be out there in the water, paddling around - grateful for that sort of thing. So I finished up a few things I had on my agenda for the afternoon which included updating my resume (more news on that later) and took my new board out for the first time. And all is right in the world once again :)